Happiness....

                                          Ireland                                          Peru                                         Colorado

                                                                                                     HOME

As many of you know, I picked up a second job a few months ago and have been working close to 60hours per week, which has been the main reason I've been socially absent, and at times have felt like a zombie, going from one job to the next and sleeping in my spare time. Its only been a few months but they have been some of the most un-enjoyable months of my life. One, because i dislike my new job immensely, and two, because I havent had time to do any of the things I love to do. Before this job I would spend at least a few hours everyday in either the public library or a bookstore studying random subjects and being inspired all the while. I'd have time to enjoy the company of friends. A few times a week I would take time to experiment preparing, cooking, and enjoying different foods. I'd take time for dancing (as some former room-mates of mine can attest). I'd have time to go for walks. All of these things that I took for granted when it was so easy to do them.

The main reason I was looking to have a second job in the first place was so that I could be completely free of debt by the time spring rolled around and then take a month or so to save up and go work on a farm for about 6 months through the W.W.O.O.F organization. I've put a lot of time and thought into these plans and also into the re-thinking of these plans. I've decided that in this year of my life (I'll be turning 24 the end of this month) I want to just settle in and do certain things I've wanted to do for a while around here and just haven't. I very often have the mentality that I have to go away in order to learn life lessons and really experience life in the fullest... I realize now, perhaps as a part of growing up, that I've learned some of the most profound lessons here, home, in the company of friends and family, and I'm incredibly grateful for that. I'm not saying I dont want to travel or go on my "adventures" any longer, but for this year,  I'm going to stick around and just bask in a life surrounded by those whom I love and who love me so well in return. I'm going to take classes in things I've wanted to take classes in, like yoga, pottery, sewing, the list goes on. I'm going to go to concerts, and visit parks, and hole in the wall restaurants I've always said I would go to and just havent. I'm going to spend time studying and pondering the idea of going back to school for environmental science and agricultural studies (something I've been considering for a while now) and I'm going to really dive into my online courses at Clayton College of Natural Health, an online school I've been enrolled in and paying for for the past two years and just havent put much time into. 

All that to say, I'm quitting my "new" second job and instead going full time at my job at the coffee shop (40 hours) until I feel financially comfortable. I've decided that its much much much better to be happy and struggling financially than miserable and have money flowing in. And the cool thing is that I wont actually be financially struggling, I'll just be about a month behind on my debt- free goal. I love how things always work out... they can be really crappy for a while, but they always always work out, you just have to open your eyes to see how. Happiness feels good!